Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Remembering Sharon

I attended Sharon's memorial this afternoon. There are so many things I could say and at the same time, I am at a loss for words, heavy hearted and so deeply touched.

Sharon left behind a loving husband, and two beautiful small children. As they walk down that isle at the start of the service, my heart broke for them. For the many times throughout their life when they will journey without a mommy to hold their hand and share in the triumphs of life. And a husband that now needs to figure out how to be a daddy and a mommy. I cannot fathom the deep sorrow, the anger, the emotion.

Today has been a day full of reflection. I am full of thanks and fully aware of the amazing blessings that adorn every day of my life; my two beautiful children - my most precious gits from heaven. My amazing and loving husband, whom I would never want to do life without. Our health, our friends, our family, I could go on and on.

Still I sit here numb. Not that I have not been touched by death before, but somehow this feels so different. Is is the fact that it was so sudden? Or maybe that she is not much further on in life as I am? Is it that she has kids that are so young? I am not sure. But the reality of how fragile life is seems to be at the forefront of my mind. We need to live today to the fullest, becuase tomorrow may look so different. Not that we need to live life in fear of that daily. But rather live today in a way that makes tomorrow seem like a distant reality. Live today to the fullest and enjoy every moment of it.

Sharon's husband shared so profoundly. He talked about how we can take for granted the time we have. So take time today to say I love you, to give a hug, to spend time with your kids, be passionate, to talk with your spouse, to tell someone how you feel etc. Don't waste the day thinking you will do it later. For some, later never comes.

Sharon was a vivacious woman. Fun loving, passionate about a lot of things. Caring and kind. She was an encourager. She was smart. She loved her family - her children were her pride and joy. She gave of herself to so many. Sharon, I wish you could have known how many lives you touched.

Sharon had been part of our lives since Karter was 5 months old, as our Infant Development consultant. Paige remembers Sharon as 'the lady with the bag of toys'. Every visit she would bring a bag of toys for Karter to play with. There were always strategically placed toys in that bag just for Paige. She also loved that Sharon 'came to play'. Karter will remember the songs, the cuddles, the games and the huge smiles. Sharon, I will remember you as a friend. As much as you were here to support Karter, you were here for me too. You always took the time to focus in on the great things Karter had accomplished. Though they were small and almost unnoticable to many, you always saw them (sometimes before I even did). And you never failed to tell me I was doing a good job - those words were such life to me, they got me through many tough days. We shared lots of laughs, some frustrations and at times even tears. I just hope you knew that you too did such a great job. We will miss you dearly.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

May Update

Wow, how time flies! I realized it was time to give you an update. And since I spent a bit of time updating our family blog with all of Paige's activities, it was time to do the same for Karter.

Praise The Lord! We are almost 2 1/2 weeks seizure free! This is the longest Karter has gone without a seizure since September. After increasing his medication at the end of March, the seizures decreased in frequency and within a few week disappeared completely.

We have not heard anything from Children's in way of the Spect Scan. I plan to call this week and see what the plan is. Without the presence of frequent seizures, I am not sure how they go about inducing them for the scan. I will be honest when I say, I am not overly excited about taking him off his medication prior to the test. He has been so tricky to control with medication. I feel that it might be difficult to just put him back on the meds without seeing the seizures resurface. However, we trust that God has it all under control. We will continue to submit to the doctors care. We trust that they have been put in Karter's life by divine appointment. There is nothing to fear but fear itself, isn't that correct?

Horseback riding started up again mid April. Karter has been really enjoying the Spring session. Now that the weather has changed a bit, it is not so cold; I think that has helped. He will ride until June 18th and then take a break for the summer, resuming riding in September.

Karter is still gaining weight. We think he is about 29 or 30 pounds. Such a far cry from the 22 1/2 pounds he was in January. He has really started to fill out. We are really thankful for this. With the additional weight, it has become increasingly hard to carry him around. Our hope is that approval for the wheelchair comes through quickly. We would appreciate your continued prayers about that.

On a sad note, this week we heard the shocking news that Karters IDP (Infant Development) consultant suddenly passed away. Sharon, has been our consultant since Karter was 5 1/2 months old. She visited us on a bi-monthly and monthly basis over the past two years. She was the one took care of Karter's "case". She made sure that we recevied the proper support from physio, occupational therapy, speech therapy and other outside sources. She was our support and our advocate. We shared many tears, lots of great milestones and many fun times sharing about our kids and various other things. We are greatly saddened by her sudden passing. Sharon leaves behind a husband and two children; a little girl Paige's age and a son who is 6. My heart breaks to think that those precious little ones will now grow up without a Mother. Please pray for the family, they really need the covering right now.

Although I was very candid with Sharon about our stand of faith with Karter, I never had an actual opportunity to share the gospel with her. I had invited Sharon to the production and we had talked about church a bit. This has been a real eye opener for me. There are so many people that walk through the door of our home on a weekly basis, in support of Karter. I don't want to take for granted that I just need their support. I too can share with them about where I find my source of strength.

I am constantly reminded, of late, about my circle of influence. I find it so astounding the way God gently guides the rapids of our life and marks the course for things that we may never have imagined or given thought to. He is so amazing!