God always comes through in the tough moments

This past week has been a tough one. With the reality of the surgery less than two weeks away, questions about what the future will look like after surgery have started to surface. Even though we know that God has things under control. It has still been hard to process the reality of Karter's condition in conjunction with the promise that we feel God has given us that he will be ok.

This week I talked with the Neurology departement at Children's Hospital about what to expect after surgery. See up 'til this point we have been living to just get to surgery. Now with it scheduled for two weeks from now, there are feelings of having to gear up for what happens next. The long and short of it came as no surprise to us...they really don't know at this point. It will really depend upon how he does after surgery. Whether his seizures are controlled etc.

Obviously, we will be dealing with some developmental delays...he is probably about 5-6 months behind right now. They seem to think that the "catch-up" will take awhile and that we may still see the same patterns, moving forward, then regressing a bit and then moving forward etc. etc. Also they mentioned that there is a very high possibility of learning disabilities, troubles with hyperactivity and concentration as well a possibility of being impulsive. These are all things that function from the part of his brain that they will be removing.

To say the least, these things are hard to hear. Still not being able to know if our son will be able to develop appropriate social skills, motor skills, learning to function independantly in society etc. is difficut for us. But on the other side of that is our faith...the evidence of things not seen and our belief in God that He will not let us down. As Kurt said the other day, I will believe for nothing less than perfection until it doesn't present itself that way.

I have spent a great deal of time this week thinking and praying against discouragment and asking God "for a sign" . I am sure we have all been there at some point in our lives, whatever our circumstances are, "God please show me it will all be ok". And so I wanted to take a few moments and "give back" to all of you some encouragment. You have all in some way shape or form poured so much into our lives these past months, that I thought this would be a nice way to share back with you. You can imagine that choosing to share our journey so publicly can be hard when times get tough and we want to retreat inside ourselves. At times, we take time to process and think it all out on our own before sharing with all of you. So today I wanted to share my heart and a few things that God has done for us this past few days.

There are some things that have happened this week that have been so beautiful. The first is that we are starting to finally see Karter develop a personality unto his own. He has this infectious giggle that just makes you want to join in. He has really started to communicate with us and interact on a new level. His eyes light up when he sees Paige come into the room and talk to him. He talks or laughs back at her, it is really touching to see their relationship start to blossom. She in turn will randomly pray for him, laying hands on him praying that "he get all better". It has been inspiring to see her child like faith in action.

On the "spiritual" side of things. This morning as I walked into chuch, I thought to myslef, I shouldn' t have come. I am not going to be able to keep it together and I don't have the energy to fall apart and have to explain myslef to people today. I should have known that I was in the exact place I needed to be. Within the first 5 minutes a long time friend of my mom and dad's came up to me, placed her hand on me and said "We are still praying for you and for Karter to be well. I am praying that he will grow up to be married and give you many grandchildren". I looked at her and started to weep. I explained how I had asked God that very question this week. She in turn told me that she wasn't sure she even wanted to say that to me but did, we both agreed, it was from the Lord. A beautiful word of encouragement reminding me that He has not forgotten the small details.

As the service began I found it so tough to sing the lyrics of some of the songs. "Lord I give you my heart...my soul...I live for you alone...Lord have Your way in me" and "We give you all the glory, we worship You alone, You are worthy to be praised" and "'tis so sweet to Trust in Jesus, just to trust Him and His word" Boy those were tough to get through this morning. But we choose to say even in spite of our circumstances, YOU ARE STILL GOD!!!

At the end of the service, Pastor Brent had people gather around those who had needs. Two women prayed for me, not knowing what has gone on this week. Both of their prayers were against discouragment, for strength and for break through. I wept again, Another confirmation that God heard my cry and was showing me He is still there to help me.

I sat in my seat talking to people after the service, when it was time to go, a woman, whom I had never met came up to me. She told me that she had been praying for Karter this past week. In here prayer times she saw both Karter and my face beaming. And she felt she had to be obedient to tell me that "we are not alone". God has not left us and that there are many people standing with us on Karter's behalf believing for great things. She then said something as she was about to leave, she said that this was the beginning of a next phase of his life. I stopped her and shared with her a brief bit of Karter's story. She had no idea of Karter or my name, she didn't know what she was praying for or anything, so I shared with her that he would be having surgery on the 18th and that our last chance for healing would be proven at the MRI on the 17th. I told her that we were holding out for that in a BIG way. So I left feeling quite encouraged today and happy that I went to church!

I realized today in such a real way that God ALWAYS comes through in tough moments. It is these times that do make us stronger, but I am sooooo thankful we can journey them with all of you by our side cheering us on and holding us up when we are tired and weary. So thank you again.

We are believing for closure to this story. We so want to hear the doctors tell us on the 17th, that they cannot find anything on the MRI. Please continue to pray along with us as we journey these next few weeks. No matter what the outcome is, surgery or no surgery, we know that God is in control and that He is not going to let us down!