And a light went on...

I wanted to take a moment a share with you some thoughts that came to me as I spent some time with God before finally drifting off to sleep last night. If you are reading this blog, you have walked with us through this tough journey and so I feel like I want to share this with you.

This week I had someone share with me that "strength" is a spirit in which we can call on. Much like the authority we have over darkness we have the authority to call on the spirit of strength when we need it. I have called on that spirit many times this week both for Karter and for myself. I really could not see any possible way to continue on the journey. In my mind I could not entertain the idea that it may not be over. But in saying those words "Lord, I call upon your spirit of strength" I realized that I was one again allowing God to give me what I needed when I needed it, in a supernatural way. What an amazing gift that was to be able to see it in that light, there was a peace and such a release that I felt when I could grasp onto that concept.

As I lay in bed last night I was thinking about how God has been so faithful to us through this time. That is not a new reality for me but I was so thankful for that. I was thinking of all the things that Karter has come through, overcome and where he was TODAY...I felt blessed. I then thought about where I came from in my faith and walk with God. That is what got me thinking about the idea or phrase I am sure many of us have spoken "God allowed me to go through this to teach me______".

I starting pondering and felt like I had a real shift in my thinking. I don't truly believe that God sat on His throne and thought, I am going to allow Karter to have Epilepsy so that Charlene could learn _____ and Kurtis could learn____ etc, etc. No, He doesn't work that way. Rather I look at it like this...Karter's Epilepsy brought us to a place of such vulnerability and desperation for God that it revealed the things that, already there inside of us, were magnified and thus refined as we sought God on Karter's behalf. As we prayed daily for Karter and listened, those things in our own lives were magnified by our ability to be humbled and just wait on Him. Thus we learned and were changed in many areas of our lives; character, faith, beliefs etc. That wasn't because God sat there and said "It is time for them to learn ____". No, Karter's situation was just catalyst for the change that was already brewing inside us. We could have chosen to give up completely when everything started last fall and say "I cannot hear from a God who would allow this to happen to my baby boy" thus turning our hearts and minds completely away from Him, learning nothing and allowing no change. But rather we allowed the beautiful Spirit of God to permeate every part of ourselves and we listened and depended on Him. That brought about such peace and reassurance that we would have the strength to make it through and we would be victorious in the end!

I don't know how long this road will be, my human hope is that it is over yesterday :-) But no matter what, I would not have done it any other way than with God at the control center of this roller coaster. All of us will face things that are difficult or we will watch others walk difficulties and say "I can't do that". But know this, you will do it because with God on your side, guiding, protecting and providing you with strength, you have no other option but to be successful.

Today Pastor Harvey touched on the idea that community is such a necessity in our lives. I echo those words loudly to you. Without our community we would have not been able to stand as strong as we have and face this storm with as much strength as we have. Where two or more are gathered, God will be there...how blessed we feel to have hundred's gather with us on Karter's behalf!